How do I get the #%@* lawyers off of my tv?

Created by Google Gemini- not a real lawyer

• "If you're in pain, let us make it rain."

• "In a wreck? Get a check."

• "If you're hurt in a dash, get the cash."

• "Insurance companies hate us."

• "Small enough to care, smart enough to win."

  Sample of Personal injury law slogans

I don't know why, but this year I'm noticing more and more advertisements for personal injury lawyers. Billboards, televised ads, and even Facebook ads proclaim that their law firm will get you top dollar for any perceived injury. Advertising in this industry has increased substantially, and it may be targeted more to older Americans since I'm one and that's what I'm seeing. Why this type of lawyer, and why now?

In the ad, a middle-aged man (sometimes a woman) in an expensive suit looks and talks tough about how he will go to bat for you if you think you've been wronged. Their phone number is usually easy to remember- all 4's or all 7's and their slogan is meant to be catchy so that it will stick in your brain if and when you decide you might need a lawyer.

Legal advertising has mushroomed into a $2.5 billion dollar marketing business and a $60+ billion payout for law firms, concentrated heavily in television, radio and billboards that seek out the people most likely to sue. People have always been getting hurt and needing representation, so why is this happening now? Have accidents gotten that much more common? At first, I had thought that this boom in personal injury was because of economic stress. As people get desperate for money- they turn to less traditional ways of getting it- crime, gambling, and lawsuits.

After looking into this phenomenon, the true culprit is one I least expected- Artificial Intelligence. Since personal injury lawyers make money through contingency fees instead of billable hours, there's a huge incentive to streamline and use their time more efficiently. A firm that handles more cases more quickly will make more money in total, and that's the driver behind this glut of ads.

Before AI, most personal injury cases were handled by lawyers and paralegals. It was time-consuming to evaluate cases, look up medical and legal records, and prepare cases. Now AI agents can handle intake of cases and evaluate them before any lawyer sees one. Paralegals are being replaced by AI that can dig through mountains of data in mere minutes to prepare a case. All that the lawyers need to do is have one meeting with the client and oversee the AI so that it comes up with the most likely settlement figure.

Since most personal injury cases (95%!) never go to trial, a settlement is more easily reached, especially since now insurance companies are using their own AI to defend these cases. The average settlement in many personal injury lawsuits is about $20.000-$40,000, so efficiency and time management is key to big profits. (Medical malpractice cases are an exception, and can go into the millions if successful, though the majority of them are dropped or dismissed.) AI can even be helpful in class action lawsuits, which are the most lucrative for any law firm. Dealing with a class-action suit requires sifting through infinite piles of data, a task that AI tackles with ease. The increased profitability of injury law has even attracted the attention of private equity firms.

If you are one of the lucky ones who've never had to sue or be sued, this still affects you and the rest of us. More lawsuits might mean fewer unethical businesses out there, but it will also raise costs on everything that can attract lawsuits, especially medicine. Car, home, and business insurance rates are sure to rise due to the increase in legal settlements. Even worse, it means the legal profession will evolve into a business with a few powerful firms and fewer employees. Entry-level jobs will disappear.

The other areas of law- family and criminal law, will still survive for now with the billable hours model. When you bill by the hour, saving time is not such a priority. The human element is still important when dealing with human issues like divorce or murder, but who know for how long? Hopefully someone, somewhere is going to rein in this AI boom so that there's still a need for humans.

If someone is truly a victim of a bad actor in an accident, workplace, or out in the world, they certainly have a right to seek legal settlement to repair damages. Hopefully the system can weed out the deserving from the cheaters, but I'm not so sure. Just remember that these tv lawyers don't particularly care about you- they only want their fee. Caveat emptor.

Need a laugh? Here's an appropriate sketch from SNL about lawyers