Cleavage and intermittent rewards- how obsession begins.
Updated: 1d
Psychologists refer to unpredictable rewards as 'intermittent reinforcements.' I call them 'the reason we date jerks.'" Catherine Price
"The short-term, dopamine-driven feedback loops that we have created are destroying how society works."— Chamath Palihapitiya, former Facebook VP of User Growth
Cleavage has consumed the minds of men, women, and fashion designers for centuries. While men are naturally attracted to the sight of women's breasts, the teasing sight of just the right amount of cleavage is even more powerful. Women are well aware of this. They can wear baggy clothing that conceals their chests and discourages stares, or they can wear tight-fitting tops or plunging necklines that accentuate the breasts and invite attention.
Men, however seem oblivious to this fact, and are biologically programmed to stop everything and look when an attractive woman displays part of her breasts. Mind you, if going topless were a common occurrence everywhere, breasts would lose much of their power. Eventually we would get used to them and it would be no big deal. But just showing a hint of what's under there is enough to get the dopamine flowing in the male minds, whether women invite it or not.
That said, I must interject that gratuitous staring is NOT okay except in certain private circumstances, and men must endeavor to control primitive urges while still experiencing the dopamine surge. Human beings shouldn't be judged by any one body part, and doing so negates a chance to discover the complex being inside of each body- male or female.
More importantly, cleavage is just one example of the dangerous phenomenon of intermittent rewards. By definition, these are rewards that are given sporadically, in patterns no one can predict. Our primitive brains are trained to look beyond the predictable and ordinary and focus heavily on novelty and the unexpected. This little difference explains so much of human behavior, from addiction to motivation to obsession.
Cleavage is unpredictable- it can show up at any time and in many forms. Each time alerts the male (and sometimes female) brain that sex might be a possibility. And we are hard-wired for sexual stimulation that it doesn't take much. The breasts are seen as the gateway to the sexual act, and by accentuating them women become sexualized. Men are not peacocks, and they have to resort to other signals to attract women.
Intermittent rewards play a large part in gambling behaviors. The anticipation of a win is more powerful than the win itself. Coming close to a win but still losing releases dopamine just as much as winning does. The thrill of a jackpot eventually subsides, and gamblers sometimes can't help themselves but to keep chasing the dopamine rush that comes from the possibility of winning.
Slot machines and lottery tickets are a good example of why intermittent rewards are so powerful. If someone won small amounts all the time, they would eventually get bored and stop playing. (Plus the gambling house would go out of business.) If someone lost every time, they'd give up even quicker. But if they win a little bit in unpredictably exciting moments, they are most likely to keep playing in anticipation of an even larger payout.
Online social networks have discovered the "Like" button that acts as a dopamine driver. People post more and more things, regardless of whether they are true or interesting in the hope of getting views and likes. Facebook users post an estimated 350 million pieces of content every day for the 3 billion worldwide users, driving up engagement and advertising revenues. The validation one sees on social media has become more important the validation in real life, and the anticipation of more drives users to want to post more and more.
As quoted by Catherine Price above, intermittent rewards explains why so many people stay in destructive relationships. Someone who is great to others sometimes and awful other times creates a compulsion. The abused person starts to blame themselves for the bad behavior and feels challenged to figure out how to get the goodness back out of the abuser. Meanwhile, the person who is consistently nice and reliable is taken for granted and deemed not as interesting. This could also explain why people stay in bad jobs or vote for abusive political candidates.
The psychologist who documented this affect was BF Skinner in 1957. His research found that when rats received food pellets on a random schedule instead of a fixed schedule, they pressed the lever for food more obsessively than rats who got consistent rewards. The unpredictability created compulsive behavior.
Are we all lab rats obsessively pressing the lever that might or might not reward us?
Here are some other examples.
Obsessively checking emails too often.
Doomscrolling for hours to find the occasional rewarding post.
Hunting and fishing- you never know what you'll catch.
Sales offers that come randomly, forcing shoppers to watch for bargains all the time.
Video games. Pretty much the entire activity is chasing random rewards and challenges to keep the player engaged.
Sports betting and prediction markets- takes the unpredictable activities of others and creates dopamine events whether there's a win or not.
Anything with "mystery" in the product description. Mystery subscription boxes that might or might not have something cool. Mystery scratchers. Mystery Squishy Dumplings or Labubu toys became viral because they were sold blind- no one knew which version they were buying until they were unboxed.
What can we do to combat this depressing vulnerability in our brains? For starters, we can become aware of its existence and how its being used against us. Once someone sees that an algorithm is randomly doling out rewards to keep them hooked, they can choose to disengage, even if it produces some withdrawal symptoms.
The world is unpredictable and our brains are wired to look for novelty and challenges. That's a good thing. It keeps us from being stuck in a rut. Somehow, we just need to be vigilant about which new things or challenges we will devote time and energy to. Does it serve our needs at the moment? Does it help others? Is it a huge waste of time and money? Does a woman's cleavage determine her value? Or does judging her by it distract from what's truly important?
Finding a reward on our own is much better than finding a reward that's been planted there by someone else to keep them hooked.
There are an infinite number of possible hobbies, pursuits, jobs and relationships out there and we need not settle for waste and abuse because we trusted someone or something to make us happy. Happiness comes from within, and not an algorithm. The dopamine rush always fades, but real life satisfaction lasts a lifetime.
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